The Case of the Cursed Goldfish
Delray Beach had seen its fair share of bizarre events—haunted surfboards, fortune-telling flamingos, and a man who swore his cat was actually Napoleon. But nothing prepared the estate buyers of Delray for the Cursed Goldfish.
It all started when a mysterious old woman walked into a gold buyers shop, carrying a fishbowl. Inside was a single goldfish, its scales shimmering like pure gold.
“I need to sell this,” she said in a whisper. “But beware… it’s cursed.”
The premium estate buyer in Delray Beach behind the counter raised an eyebrow. “Cursed?”
“Yes,” she nodded solemnly. “Every time someone tries to sell it, strange things happen. Terrible things.”
The buyer, intrigued (and also in desperate need of content for his TikTok), offered her a fair price. She took the money and ran out the door like she had just escaped from a burning building.
That’s when the madness began.
The Curse Unleashed
That night, strange things started happening. The buyer’s coffee turned into melted gold. His phone only played Baby Shark on repeat. The moon outside his window had mysteriously changed to the shape of a dollar sign.
The next morning, he tried to sell the fish to another gold buyer. But as soon as the transaction was about to go through, all the jewelry in the shop turned into chocolate coins. A customer bit into a gold chain and screamed, “This is caramel nougat!”
Chaos. Panic. A minor riot over who got to eat the gold bars.
Desperate, the buyer tried to give the fish away. But every time he did, something weirder happened—the Statue of Liberty was briefly replaced with a giant rubber duck, all credit cards started only working at taco trucks, and somewhere in the world, a billionaire suddenly lost all his money and became a Subway sandwich artist.
Realizing he was stuck with the fish, the diamond buyers of Delray were called in for advice. They examined it under high-tech equipment.
“This isn’t just gold,” one of them whispered. “It’s… time-traveling gold.”
More gasps.
“We have only one choice,” another said. “We must return it to its original owner.”
But the woman was nowhere to be found. Some say she disappeared into the ocean, others claim she was actually a time-traveling lobster in disguise.
And as for the cursed goldfish?
It still sits in the shop, watching. Waiting. Judging.
And every now and then, when the lights flicker… you can hear the faint sound of Baby Shark playing from nowhere